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Iam sorry.

Take me away.
Baby, Iam so sorry for what happend.
I didnt mean to hurt you as mutch I did.
I just wanna go back, and change what I said.
Mabye you wouldn't be gone if I never did what I did?
Iam sorry.

2009-09-29 @ 23:43:59 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (1) Trackbacks ()

Älsk<3

Would you stay with me if I ask you to?
Or would you just leave me forever?
We said so many time those words that suppose to make a change.
But, we're still in the same place like before.
Bby,would you stay if you knowed the thruef?
Would you ever look at my way again if you knew?
If you knew, what I done?

I wish we could be together.

2009-09-27 @ 02:12:24 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (1) Trackbacks ()

Allt och inget.

Allt känns så fruktansvärt sjukt konstigt. Ganska väderlöst med i samma veva.
Plötsligt får man göra vad man vill. Och helt plötsligt förväntas man fatta och klara av saker och ting själv.
Fast det är ju kul med, jag kan ju komma och släntra som jag vill. Inte en jävel som bryr sig lixom, tillbax till det gamla kan man säga fast i en ny miljö,annan stad och lite andra saker som inte hör till.

It's like I have'nt changed at all, like everything around me have moved.
Its like the world haved left me alone, like Im the outsider.
It feels like my life are done.

Du kommer ofta upp i mina tankar när allt är skit, här är ytterliggare en dikt till älskade dig.

Now you're gone, and I feel so alone.
All those things we had, where are they now?
All those feelings that lived before, where are they?
Why are we dieing?
Bby, I moved on. But I have'nt forget you. And I won't.
I loved you so mutch once. But now, you just an angel in my heart.

2009-09-22 @ 23:35:01 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Stanna tiden

Det känns lite konstigt, att allt plötsligt blev sista gången. Att jag aldrig mer kommer göra detta jag gör nu här. Att alla steg,alla andetag och rörelser aldrig mera kommer existera. Att relationen jag skapat kommer suddas ut med tiden, den som skulle vara förveigt, lixom allt annat.

Jag önskar tiden kunde stanna upp och vänta på mig. För jag hänger inte med.
Det rullar för snabbt och allt gör bara ont i mig.
Känns som om jag går sönder på nytt om och om igen, som om tiden du lovade att jag skulle vara lagad bara var en lögn. du sa att jag var redo nu, men var jag det? Eller är jag det? Det känns inte som det.

Men det kanske är för att jag vill stanna så länge som möjjligt, jag kanske hjärntvättar mig själv med orden att jag ej är redo. Vem vet?

2009-09-15 @ 04:16:56 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (1) Trackbacks ()

?

Är det meninge att jag ska må såhär nu?? va?

2009-09-11 @ 19:35:57 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

7 år sen.

Idag eller igår om man ska vara korrekt var det 7år sen du dog. Kl.21.00 den 9/9 2002.
Jag minns dagen så väl, beskedet kom som en chock, det gjorde så jävla ont när du försvann. Det kändes som om jag gick i tusen bitar, dagen du försvann.
Allting bara rasa totalt. Jag saknar dej så fruktansvärt mycket! Och jag älskar dej som fan!

Kommer aldrig glömma dig, du lever föralltid inom mig.

RIP Mormor

2009-09-10 @ 02:28:47 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (1) Trackbacks ()

Who am I next week?

I wounder who I will bee,next week. How are Im gonna feel when you just dumping me there?
When I look in your eyes, and say goodbye?
Do you even plan to visit me? Or is it just a lie, to make me feel better right now?
You know, I relly like you, and this place.
My anixety are so big right now, everything feels so pointless.
I look out from my window as so many times before, but right now my thoughts seams so empty.
Everything feels so empty, and pointless.

I feel so dumped, so lonley.
All face I camed to know here, all face that meant to me is so gone, everything is so fucked up.
Im gonna lose all again.

2009-09-08 @ 06:09:43 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

To my speciell friend B<3

You smile, you look so damn happy. But you're not. Why do you pretend like you're fine when you not? You know everything will start to fall apart soon. Open up somewhere for someone who understand. Take your time. Just get fine again.It doesnt matter how longe time it takes, all that matters thats you're okej.

2009-09-04 @ 03:31:24 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (2) Trackbacks ()

I can't.

I can't do this, I can't let myself die.

Thinking back at the start, how mutch I hated this place, how I hated this world. Everything is still the same, the only diffrens is that I love this place I am on today.
I try to hide myself from all those feelings I feel ritght now, but it doesnt helping with the ways I try.
I just wanna stay, where I am safe, and where I feel that my fucture is gonna bee okej.

Cuz it's just feels everything is going to hell right now,and it proboly will keep going to hell when I moved. I have nothing there. No friends, no safness and no back up if everything start to falling apart.

I can't handle the pain inside myself.
Ican't handle my feelings.

I don't think I can do this.

2009-09-03 @ 23:07:30 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (0) Trackbacks ()

Why did you let it win over you?

You took my breath away, you took so many things away when you left, when you choosed to leave to heaven.
I still look up and talk to you sometimes, even if you're not answer me. You were the beautifuls persen I ever meet, and now you're gone. Gone forever, but I hope I meet ya in heaven again.
I love you so fucking mutch. It's been 6 years since you left.
When she told me, it felt like I would die cause it hurt so mutch insie of me and I never thought I would survive this disaster. But here Iam. But I might not be so okeej as everyone thought. But Iam still here.

You were so beautiful and wonderful, why did you let it win? You were so strong, you were everything to me<3
All I builted up under all those year, just falled apart, and I couldn't stop myself for trying to get to other side, because then, when youe were there, I suddenly got a reson to leave. I had reson before but, I never knowed that they were real. I didn't understand my feeling untill you died.
I wish I did it before you died, so I could explain what a fuck I was doing.

I love you

R.I.P Lola Johansson 2002

2009-09-01 @ 23:22:30 Permalink Allmänt Kommentarer (1) Trackbacks ()