I just wanned you to take care of me, like I saw in other familys. I just wanna you to be a mom, my mom. But you never were, and I wounder if you ever will stand up and be one. Cuz there is so many times that I haved need you, but you always shut me down. You always, wanned me to shut up about the hole things, about my problems.

You took away my website,where I used to write, about my feelings about what happend in my life. You said, that if I got a site like that, I would never have any friends.I got friends now mom, and everybody knows me, they know about the problems, but the stay. Can you tell me why? Proboly not, you proboly think they are sick. they stay, cuz they are real friends. Friends that you never had, or ever will.

Iam not gonna wait for years for you to understand.
Iwon't, if you can't hear me,why should I ever care?
I try so many times.
How many have you try?
Why are you so mean to me?
Why can't you act like a mom?
Why can't you be one?

You have never been a mom for me.
And I don't think you ever will.

You're the only one who gets me. Im sorry.
Im sorry for the things I done. But mabye it wasn't cuz of me,this happen.
It's like you blame me for the shit that happen, and yes,
I told them, about you.About us.About the rest.
I take so mutch shit from you, from everyone. And you know, I can't do this more. I can't take this anymore.

When I saw us in the mirrow, I just couldn't undertsatnd what a fuck I was doing. And I had to talk to someone. About it, about what a fuck I saw that day.

I didn't mean to hurt you,I love you sweety.

You took away a lot of stuff from me , so don't tell me, its my foult. I lost a lot because of you, cuz of us.
What have you lost? Nothing! Bby It's not my foult. Its our.

                                                               
Bby, its our foult
Our.
Not yours.
Not mine.
Ours.

I hope you feel the shame upp til your head. I hope you somewere inside,understand. A part of me died when you left. You promise so mutch, somutch. But what a fuck happend?What a fuck happend with all you said? Nothing. Everything you said, were lies for the moment, so you didn't have to deal with it. You let the time make a end.

I remember the day you left me there, you were the last part of it. You left me there all alone with all the new. You said you should stay, but you chosed to leave me. The same day you told me, peter quit. Everybody quit or got fired. Why? How could this happened? How could everything just be gone today? I miss it so fucking mutch. The new things just destroy everything.

 I wanna know why everything isnt like before? I can't stand it. I can't live like this. This can't be it. or is it ?  Tell me why I can't go on with out them? My life just went fucked up since this happend.


Grattis Jeffan till sonen <3 Saknar dej fruktansvärt mycket, älskade kp.